he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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