Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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