Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
