You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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