me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You did what with his pubic hair?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
