So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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