jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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