you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
