ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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