Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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