his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
