i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You did what with his pubic hair?
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