My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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