I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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