soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize