question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Hippo gnu deer
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
