Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize