I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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