OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize