My first STD was from a foam party
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
