Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
