it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize