Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There's always time for handjobs
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
