but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
