he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You need a sexual gate keeper
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Randomize
