Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
