Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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