That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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