I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
