Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
