You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
