Where is the hickey?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
