Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
