Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
