so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
