Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
