can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
