In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
