YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
