it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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