friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
