all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
