I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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