Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
