Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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