I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
