Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize