those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
