Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
