Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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