drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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