I want to make a zoo with you.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
