I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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