Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
