it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
