in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my shit smells like andre
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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