So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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