My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Never let your siblings swipe right.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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