haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
