white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
