Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
