It's like God shit irony all over that family
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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