worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
