You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
last night I used snow as a chaser
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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