If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Is Oprah even human
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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