I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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