Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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