would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
