OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
