Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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