Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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