I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
